No Perfect Algorithm

            There is no accurate algorithm for online dating but dating sights make you think there is one.  Computers are just as inaccurate at choosing people as people are at choosing people.  You might as well go ask some stranger on the street to dinner than going on Match.com to find your “soul mate.”  Online dating has its place, but it is just for connecting people who want to go out on dates.  Just because you are 99 percent compatible doesn’t mean you are destined to marry that person.   It is solely up to the individuals to decide what they want in a person, not a compute choosing one for them. 

                Every matching site has a different algorithm.  This inconsistency means that there is not a set way to match people together.  Every individual is different and wants something different from their relationship.  It is this unique mix that is so hard to calculate.  The intangibles of the relationship that can’t be measure or calculated usually are the determining factors on whether a relationship works or doesn’t work.  The computer will give you its best guess on what people would be good for you.  My uncle found my aunt on EHarmony.  On Match.com however, my aunt was not demographically attractive or height sufficient.  She was cut from the list of matches.  If my uncle looked on match.com and chose a woman from there, he might still be single.  Lucky for him, my aunt had the intangibles that flourished their relationship.  The computer just guessed.

                Many dating sights advertise that they will help you find a love one.  The idea is fantastic.  The problem is in the connotation of the phrase “find a love one.”   The dating sight is only good for matching you with someone that you might work with.  It is not guaranteed and just because you are compatible from the algorithm, doesn’t mean you will work. Some people see the compatible algorithm as a destined match.   They go out with the person and are determined to make it work.  Some will get married and realize their mistake and get a divorce quickly.  Others will get shot down by their commitment to their “soul mate” and become depressed.  A study showed that many people become depressed after their top three matches from a dating sight didn’t work out.  The psychology behind it is that these people are emotionally valuable.  Because companies assure them these people would be good for them, people put a lot of energy and hope into the beginning of the relationship.  When the relationship fails, these people think that even the “perfect match maker” couldn’t match them up with someone.  They slide deeper and deeper into sadness until they become depressed.  This depression can lead to suicide and alcoholism.

                There is no perfect algorithm for online dating.  The reason people should go on these websites is to find people who want to be in a relationship.  Sometimes it is hard to find someone who is looking for a relationship in the real world.  Dating sights are not perfect and shouldn’t be considered the “perfect match maker.”  This only leads to unhealthy expectations and sometimes, depression.  It is better to go in with no expectations than to go in thinking he or she is the perfect one for you.   

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